Shock and Awe
(Snow Patrol - Run)

In high school I used to joke around with my friends at the time that if my girl ever got to *insert arbitrary weight for given height here* lbs, that I'd have to put her on the "program". The program being any sort of workout/diet program that would put her below that acceptable threshold. Of course at the time I was 5'8" and 125 lbs soaking wet. It's easier to throw stones when you don't live in a glass house that's 10000 sq ft and has 100 rooms.

Fast forward 15 years later and I have crossed my own personal threshold (170 lbs) for obesity and I have started the dreaded "program". The program involves 6 days a week of intense workout and watching what I eat.

I'm not sure how I let myself go this far but there are a few hypotheses.

1) As you get older, you become less active and spend most of your day sitting at a desk job staring at a computer.

2) As you get older, your metabolism slows down.

and my personal favourite...

3) Relationship gut. When you are in a committed relationship you a) have less time to worry about personal fitness and hygiene. b) don't care about putting an effort into looking good anymore. or c) you spend more time at home cooking and eating with the significant other.

Have you ever noticed that the more committed the person is, the bigger the gut? I think there's a direct correlation here.

Sadly I think the reason I'm so fat is all of the above.

Keep checking into this blog people...I may post pictures of my humongous belly at some point!! Yes I'm awesome. And inspiring. Awespiring.

I Mostly Have Red Pills
(Taio Cruz - Break Your Heart)

I've been catching up on tv shows lately. Here are the list of shows I've managed to watch in the last 4 weeks.

Dexter (season 4) - If you haven't seen this show yet...you're DEAD TO ME!! I mean seriously. This has got to be the best drama on TV, bar none.

Modern Family (season 1) - Some have said it's like Arrested Development meets the Office. It's a little more like the Office in the type of humour and the way they shoot it, but minus the annoying lead character (Michael Scott/Steve Carell).

How I Met Your Mother (seasons 1-4) - A little like Friends but with better characters. I mean characters that have a bit more depth. Neil Patrick Harris steals the show though. Talk about revitalizing your career.

Next up for me is True Blood (seasons 1-2). I've heard good things. Anyone a big fan of this show?

---

So I've told you about my transformation over the years from being an introvert to an extrovert. I've set out bit by bit each year to conquer my fears of human interaction. However, not all changes come without some sort of consequence/side effect. The side effect of my transformation is that although talking to people no longer makes me cringe, I sometimes make them cringe with the things that come out of my mouth. You see, when you've spent your entire life talking primarily with your "inner voice" and you attempt to vocalize that, you forget that the inner voice has no filter. So I have a hard time not saying the first thing that comes to my head. I'm trying though, really.

Now the other thing I haven't been adapting well to is that with regular human interaction, you have to deal with a lot of people who are very emotional. The filterless voice in me really wants to say moody emotion whores but let's sugarcoat this for those who can't swallow the red pill. People who are easily excited, saddened, angered, etc. Generally people who are not afraid to show how they feel.

I can't coexist with these types of people. At least not right now.

My flaw is that I lack a filter and can be insensitive at times. Their flaw is that they take everything people say literally and need to act out their emotions to make everyone else feel awkward. Sorry...filter on! Their flaw is that they can't hide their emotions and are easily hurt by what others say or do. It's like mixing gas and fire.

Now I'm obviously an evolving human being and I want to be able to handle emotional people a little better but these are the early stages of my evolution. If you can't handle a bit of brutal honesty with a lot of sarcasm, then you're DEAD TO ME!!...haha....jk. Seriously though, you always have a choice of whether you want to tolerate someone's behaviour but it's not always your choice whether they are going to change to accommodate your feelings or not.

---

So what's the next thing I'm going to try to conquer? I'm going to try to talk to random strangers more often. Just thinking about it gives me the heebeegeebees.

Moon Child
(Limahl - Neverending Story)

A few classics were on tv on the weekend. Neverending Story and Princess Bride.

Bonus points to the first person who can tell me the name Bastian gave the princess to save Fantasia from the Nothing.

Would love to hear some thoughts about the symbolism in the "Nothing". I haven't really given it much thought but maybe the Nothing is symbolic of people's lack of faith. Not lack of faith in religion but rather just believing in something. Living with some sort of purpose.

Here's a cute picture I found...



Reminds me of my dog. He's getting a bit old these days. Turning 9 years old in May. He pulled one of the muscles in his hind legs the other day jumping into the car. Now he hobbles around my sister's place. It's funny cuz he's still got the same energy as when he was 1 but his body is completely failing him. A+ for effort though.

We can't be young forever but like my dog I'm holding on as long as I can.

Momentum
(Sara Bareilles - Gravity)

So I've been travelling the last few weeks with a coworker of mine. She's a 27 year old girl who's lived her entire life as mommy and daddy's only child. As you know I have a penchant for being completely filterless (aka tactless), I told her that she lived a sheltered life and called her bubble girl. Now most of you would probably call me mean and I wouldn't blame you. Some of you though, might actually think that I'm trying to be helpful (would like to buy you guys a drink). In actuality it's probably a little of both.

It frustrates me to see people who can't see outside of their own little world. These are the people in arguments who can't see the value of another person's point of view. The people who are convinced that the way they live is the only way to live. These are also the same people who miss out on all the great opportunities life provides us.

If you are not running with your opportunities, then you are not running. Those who don't run quickly find themselves left behind.

It's hard to change, no one disputes that. Working towards change is something everyone struggles with. The attempt to change one's own momentum so that inertia acts in your favour is something I think everyone should be doing. To not even make the attempt is disheartening to me.

Inertia can be your friend or your foe, it really is up to you. If you are in a shitty place and you let inertia weigh you down, then you're giving into your own dispositions. If your relationship is broken, make changes, work on the relationship. If it ultimately does not work, be brave enough to walk away.

If you're in a great place and you're travelling a 100 miles an hour, lose yourself in the moment. Don't let life's worries and stress take it away from you.

As you get older inertia plays a bigger part in holding you back. When you've got a routine going it's really hard to change with all the intertwined responsibilities you've got. At work, at home -- it becomes something so hard to disturb and so difficult to break free of. So when you get the opportunity to change the everyday norm - suit up and gather some speed. Because you'll love the wind in your hair.

Take the opportunity to do something outside your normal routine/comfort zone. Get out. Have fun. Spring is in the air.